Jordan Stephens, the musician and writer, has spoken out about his evolving views on the term "toxic masculinity" and his journey to understanding his father's complex past. In an interview with Huck magazine, Stephens revealed his growing belief that the concept of masculinity itself requires a broader understanding, going beyond the simplistic label of "toxic."
"I don't like using the term anymore," Stephens admitted, reflecting on his initial embrace of the phrase. "I thought it had a clear distinction, with masculinity being authentic and toxic masculinity being a harmful form. But now, I focus on helping create young men who care for themselves and love themselves." He expressed concern that the label "toxic" can become a barrier to positive self-image, potentially leading young men towards harmful figures like Andrew Tate who promote regressive views.
For Stephens, true masculinity lies in balance and unity, embracing both feminine and masculine aspects within oneself. He sees the need for men to engage with their emotional selves and work in cooperation with the "opposite force," rather than suppressing or denying its existence.
The interview delved into Stephens' personal relationship with his father, a prominent figure in the UK's punk scene. He shared a poignant memory of his father crying at his grandmother's funeral, a moment that revealed a vulnerability Stephens had rarely witnessed before. "That's the only time I've ever seen my dad cry," he shared. "I've learnt that his relationship with her was more complex and deeper than I could ever have imagined." This revelation, combined with his own "inner child work," prompted Stephens to explore the complexities of his father's life and the impact of his own upbringing.
Stephens acknowledged the generational silence surrounding emotional expression, particularly within his father's generation. He posited that the issue isn't a lack of willingness to talk, but rather a reluctance to build deep emotional connections with loved ones. He observed that men often feel comfortable sharing their deepest secrets with strangers, as it removes the pressure of emotional vulnerability and potential judgement.
Stephens concluded by expressing his desire to understand his father's past, acknowledging the weight of time and the potential loss of untold stories. He sees his father's life as a testament to resilience and struggle, shaped by experiences of racism and societal pressures. "I dream of writing his story one day," Stephens shared, acknowledging the complexities of their relationship and the desire for deeper connection despite their differences.
This interview sheds light on the evolving discourse around masculinity, emphasizing the need for a nuanced understanding of the term "toxic masculinity" and the importance of fostering healthy emotional expression among men. It also serves as a powerful reminder of the complexities of family dynamics and the enduring pursuit of understanding and connection between generations.
